Telling your children you are about to divorce may be one of the most difficult conversations you will ever have. At least in the days leading up to it when you worry about what to say.
While it will never be easy for the kids to hear, remember that they may have known something was wrong for a long time, and even if they did not, they will likely know many other kids whose parents have divorced.
Here are some ways to make it easier for all of you:
Do it together
It shows your kids that you are both set on this course of action and that despite your differences, you can still come together for them, which will be essential for the future. There may be cases where this is inappropriate because being with your spouse puts your safety at risk.
Time it wisely
The night before your child sits exams at school is the wrong time. As is any morning before they head off to school. You don’t want them unable to concentrate or breaking down in tears in front of their classmates.
Limit the details
Your children do not need to know everything about the reason behind your decision, and younger children likely need a far simpler version than adolescents. Focus more on the future and how it will affect your children by telling them what will change and what will stay the same. For instance, you won’t live in the same house anymore, but your kids will still see you both each week.
Remember, this is not a one-off conversation, nor a one-sided one. You can add further details as time progresses, all the time making space for your children to ask any questions they have.
Learning more about custody options can help you create a plan you can relay to your children when appropriate.