Young children generally defer to parental authority. When their parents share custody, they (usually) quickly acclimate to the new arrangements.
Teenagers are an entirely different matter. They have become relatively independent and likely have strong feelings about the current parenting arrangement. Perhaps they blame one of the parents for the divorce due to infidelity or other misconduct. Maybe they simply have a closer connection with one parent than the other.
Can a teenager choose not to follow a custody order approved by the family courts?
Teens do not set their own custody terms
Teenagers may be more mature than preschool and grade school children. However, they do not yet have fully-developed brains. They lack the capacity to make decisions that truly consider their own best interests in many cases.
As such, teens do not control their own custody arrangements. They are subject to the orders imposed by the courts, which their parents have an obligation to uphold. A judge can hear about a child’s preferences during the initial custody proceedings.
They can also discuss a child’s wishes during a modification hearing if either parent wants to change the terms of the custody order. A teenager can weigh in on their wishes regarding who they live with or where they spend the majority of their time. However, the judge is likely to require that a minor child maintain their relationship with both parents by awarding both parenting time or at least visitation.
Parents going through a difficult time with their children can take reasonable steps to protect and preserve that critical relationship. Requesting a custody modification to reflect a teenager’s preferences or push back against repeated order violations may be a necessary step for those who share custody under certain evolving circumstances.
